7 Ways to Conquer Negative Thoughts That Can Hinder Your Purpose
As an entrepreneur, I’ve learned that no matter how stellar of a day I’m having or how much I grow in my industry, negative thoughts still try to find its way to the surface and hinder my purpose and everything I worked hard to accomplish. This was especially the case when I ran across someone who I considered to be more successful than me. I used to question my purpose and wonder why I bothered when there so many other women who were more successful than me. Thankfully, I’ve learned to check my gut and stay true to what I was called to do.
Rather than allowing what you see others doing diminish your creativity and desire to push into your purpose, let it fuel what’s inside of you to be the best at what you were created to do. You’ll hear me say many times you have to start somewhere and rarely do you see anyone start at the top of their game. It’s what I had to do for myself as well. If you find yourself not moving forward, stuck in the paralysis of analysis mode, or simply wondering why you’re not further along in life when you absolutely know that you should not be where are today, then do a self-check to determine what’s holding you up.
A few things I’ve learned when mentoring and coaching women, is that they really want to move forward into their purpose and start creating the life they love, but they don’t know how or they are afraid to admit the things they are allowing to hold them back.
1. Use Fear to Your Advantage and Allow it to Push You a Few Steps Further Than What You Would Normally Do
You can have all the right resources at your fingertips, but nothing seems to choke our purpose more than fear. I’ve served in several leadership positions during my former military days, my corporate job, and my current ministry and with all the toughness and tenacity I’ve developed along the way, I still had moments of fear creep up on me to when I knew I had to have a difficult conversation with a coworker or dissolve conflict. But, I didn’t let that hold me back because I knew those situations were designed to develop me and prepare me for greater that lied ahead. I had to face the fear and move forward because I was determined that I was not going to let it hinder my progress. Don’t be afraid to conquer what you’re afraid of.
Whatever you have to conquer you have to be willing to confront. (Tweet)
When you face your fears and use it to your advantage, you will realize that fear is not the big giant you made it out to be and fear will begin to respect your inner braveness and boldness.
2. Discover What’s Unique About You and Don’t Compare Yourself To Others
Who doesn’t want a beautifully designed website with all the bells and whistles that send your readers flying to your email list, all the cool speaking gigs, the massive social media following, or be at the top of their game and the go-to person in your niche. Once you get past the fear of moving into your purpose and into your niche, don't look at others who are successfully living out their purpose, growing their business and blog, and wonder if you’ll ever get there and how long will it take. If you spend time on comparing and looking out instead of looking in, you’ll lose focus on what’s unique about you and what you can offer. It’s always good to have someone or a blog that inspires you, but let it do just that. Inspire! When you compare yourself, your gifts, talents, and business to someone else, you automatically devalue what’s already inside of you. I used to think I wanted to be the next Joyce Meyer because she did everything I wanted to do. Write and speak for a living and have thousands of people who will pay experience whatever I deliver. I had to realize that I wasn’t embracing my purpose by wanting to be someone else. Now she is my inspiration and I don’t want to compare myself, I just allow what God has given her to fuel what’s inside of me.
3. Focus on Making Yourself Smarter, Bigger, and More Resilient. Not Perfect.
Does every “i” need to be dotted and every “t” need to be crossed? Sure, because we want to look professional, polished, and protect our brand image. All of that is okay, but in reality, it’s just not going to happen like that all the time. The need for perfection is usually a sign of distress in some other area in our life that we can get under control. This is something I warn all women against in my coaching sessions. We can work on perfecting things in our life, but because we live in a constantly changing world and we evolve as we learn and grow, nothing will ever be perfect. Recognizing that perfection is unattainable should make us want to push deeper into our purpose, explore new areas of our industry so that we can become smarter, bigger, stronger, and more resilient. Not perfect.
4. Get Clear on Your Purpose and Vision
Having a clear vision and understanding of what your purpose is and how you should live it so important when you desire to be intentional about your life and business. In the beginning, things can seem really fuzzy and you may have more gray areas that may not seem clear. This is very normal in the beginning of discovering your purpose because you may have so many ideas in mind mixed with a lot of excitement that may cause you to not pick a direction at all.
So focus on developing a roadmap for your vision and purpose to bring clarity to any areas that seemed out of focus before. Ask yourself questions like, what is my end result, why do I want to do this, who else will this impact, and what can I do to start today.
5. Be Confident in What You Know and Continue to Build Your Knowledge Base
You may feel like you don’t have enough confidence to get up and start bringing your God-sized dream to life because you don’t see yourself as an expert. Experts are smart at their craft, but they don’t know everything because things are always changing. You don’t have to be an expert to get started on your purpose. You can boost your confidence by reading material specific and relatable to your niche, listening to podcasts, attending webinars and much more. Trust the knowledge that you already have and take it to the next level by learning more cutting edge information about it. Identify what you can start doing now one level up from where you were in the beginning.
6. Don't expect others to understand or validate your purpose
Knowing just how unique you are and how special your purpose and calling is enough reason to get busy and start making great things happen in your life. When you start to take actionable steps and live your purpose, it's important to share your purpose and vision with others you trust. Keep your circle of trust small, because everyone will not understand your purpose and some will not accept what you have been called to do. I used to hope that everyone understood my gifts and talents and hoped that they accepted it, but when I didn't get the acceptance I hoped for, I began to feel like I was going in the wrong direction. I was so wrong. When you pinpoint your purpose, go with it and don't expect everyone to catch on to what it is you're doing. Oftentimes, people don't get it until they see the end result. So only share the beginning of your journey and your process with those you trust and will support you along the way.
7. Breakdown Your Vision into Small Doable Task You can Actually Accomplish
When you look at the big picture of your purpose and your current situation, it becomes difficult to see how you would fit something else so important into your life. I used to think that I was never going to have enough time for blogging or building my coaching business. It wasn’t until I pressed forward into my purpose that I realized I had time to do it. It wasn’t the full amount of time I wanted, but I made use of the small chunks of time I had to achieve the highest gain. So instead of looking for large chunks of time that you know you won’t have, break down your tasks into smaller more doable tasks that you can actually accomplish.
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Get clear, inspired, and free to move into your purpose and start creating your life like the conquerer your are.